FREE ADVICE TO THE UNEMPLOYED:  IT'S NOT SO EASY  (7/27/04)

Those of you who are close to me have probably surmised that I have had a serious reversal of fortune.  I cannot whine, because it is largely due to poorly made choices and atypically rash behavior.  I have not been good to the times, so the times have not been good to me.

This is not to say that I am not abundantly blessed:  Linda is incredibly supportive and patient.  My kids and grandkids are pure gold.  Friends, though they have dwindled, are still there for me.  My communion with God and sense of higher purpose still sustain me.  Moreover, we retain the trappings of an upper-middle-class lifestyle.  The amenities are there, and they are not threatened.  Yet, the edge of trepidation sometimes creeps in.

Why all this?  You may have also surmised that for two years I have basically been unemployed.  I have had brief tenure at two jobs and discovered that I do not have the mettle for do-what-you’re-told-sit-down-and-shut-up.  I have had the good fortune of serving a congregation for the Holy Days, with appropriate remuneration.  I occasionally receive an honorarium for speaking engagements.  And, my columns, no matter how well regarded, are easy to get published, so long as I give them away.  Friends tell me that I am the world’s worst self-marketer.  I cannot disagree.

Seven years ago, having established a respectable position in the corporate world, the rabbinate again drew me to a congregation.  Greenville appeared to hold significant potential for Jewish growth and creativity.  And it was so.  Noteworthy accomplishments.  Noteworthy compensation.

It took five years for the situation to go sour.  With a new administration, new issues arose.  Tell this to any rabbi, and s/he will tell you, “So what else is new?”  The same rabbis would likely tell you, though, that these particular issues might well have been cause for resignation. 

In retrospect, I have little doubt that the points of contention might have been amicably resolved had the conflict not coincided with an episode of radical bipolarity, unlike which I had never suffered.  Thank God, that situation is now well under control.  But, in the spring of 2002, the rapid cycles of manic outbursts counterpointed by fits of morbid depression led me to rash, accusatory actions that culminated in my impulsive resignation.

Now, two years later, I still live a scant half-mile from the synagogue, loved by some former congregants, forgiven by others, still the scourge of others.  And unemployed.  No prognosis for being impoverished, thank God.  But, this I have attained:  a deeper understanding for the nuances of unemployment and how its complexities are cynically dismissed by the crowd that prates, “Just buck up, tighten your belt and get and job!”

These are some of the intemperate comments regarding the long-term unemployed that I have heard and even occasionally made over the years.  While each may contain a kernel of truth, situations are not so simple as they seem to the judgmental outsider:

Get rid of the shiny Volvo and buy a cheaper car.  The Volvo is paid for and still gets 28-30 miles per gallon.  Move into a smaller house.  Have you factored in the cost of moving, financing and what we originally paid for this one, as property values have increased?  How dare you take a vacation?  Sometime my wife is so frazzled by the redoubled stress, and sometimes it is a treat from her parents. 
 
Write a book.  You think I haven’t put forth proposals?  Do you know how many agents, editors and publishers have told me, “Your stuff is good, just not good enough”?  And then there was the one who offered this crowning compliment:  “Your writing is insipid to the core.”  If you have to, be prepared to drive a distance for a job.  Well, the last job I worked paid $321 a week, of which I spent $53 on gas.  Flip burgers if you have to.  How long can one’s psyche and morale stay intact before redefining unemployment as punishment for some horrific crime?  Move to another city where the job situation is better.  It’s not so easy when your wife has a completely engaging, rewarding job here, and all the grandchildren live right down the road.
 
It’s not so easy.  That is precisely the point.  I am not whining.  I am not going broke.  I am not giving up.  I will one day have gainful, even meaningful, employment.  But, the shibboleths smugly crooned by the pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps crowd will do no earthly good.  Good can come only from recognizing that for every one shiftless bum, 20 or 30 of us long-term unemployed face obstacles that may be surmountable, but that are complex, daunting and not so easy.
 
When I was still a baby rabbi, I heard Sol, a particularly uncouth member of our finance committee, chastise a synagogue member whose dues were in arrears:

“Gee, Roy, you drive a nice car, but you still owe us last year’s dues.”

“I do specialized work, and I’ve been unemployed for two years.”

“What kind of specialized work do you do, Roy?  Are you a brain surgeon?”

I was upset but remained silent.  Now, wiser for the years and the tears, I know what I should have said:  It’s not so easy.  I doubt that Sol would have heard me.

Would you?